Perfectionism Kills

Quote of the day:
"There are sadistic scientists who hurry to hunt down errors instead of establishing the truth."
--Marie Curie

In today’s "Parade" magazine, columnist Marilyn vos Savant answers a reader’s question about perfectionism this way:
“I believe that if perfectionism is directed toward a goal, it can be enormously beneficial: I don’t see how some goals can be achieved without perfectionism! ... Yet if perfectionism pervades our personality, and you cannot give up--at least temporarily--on a problem without moving on, the trait will drain your most precious resource: time.”

I guess I should expect it in a short advice column, but the glibness and brevity of this answer is worrisome. Vos Savant is correct that there are benefits to seeking perfection, but only in very narrow contexts. She uses the careers of golfer Tiger Woods and pianist Lang Lang as examples. I would add that seeking (not expecting) perfection in yourself in a specific hobby or project can be very rewarding.

However, if we live our lives expecting perfection in everything, or almost everything, we are sentencing ourselves to lives of frustration and unhappiness. And our time will not be the only victim. There is a reason that virtually every drug or alcohol or work addict has perfectionism as a basic part of his personality.

For a very compelling look at perfectionism and its effect on relationships, I strongly recommend Woody Allen’s movie "Interiors." Geraldine Page gives an excellent performance as someone devoted to perfection above all--and we get to see how the people who love her (or try to love her) are indelibly affected. It is a serious, adult film, and may be Allen’s best.