America's Number One Issue

Quote of the day:
“Ignorance in the United States is not just bliss, it’s widespread. A recent survey of teenagers by the education advocacy group Common Core found that a quarter could not identify Adolf Hitler, a third did not know that the Bill of Rights guaranteed freedom of speech and religion, and fewer than half knew that the Civil War took place between 1850 and 1900.”
--Bob Herbert in yesterday’s New York Times.

Quote of the day no. 2:
“When I compare our high schools with what I see when I’m traveling abroad, I am terrified for our work force of tomorrow.”
--Bill Gates

Education is one of our “been there, done that” issues. We hear statements like those of Bill Gates and columnist Bob Herbert and we think, “Yeah, yeah, ok. We’ve heard this before about a gazillion times. I guess we just can’t do anything about it.”

And it seems we really can’t. We just keep getting stuck in the political mud. Significant change in our schools requires both more funding and consensus. Both of these have proved impossible so far.

More funding is impossible because there is nowhere for that funding to come from. There are too many other urgent spending priorities, and raising taxes is politically unpopular.

Consensus is impossible because of long-standing entrenchment of three groups: reform-minded administrators, teachers and activist parents.

The only way any of this will change is if we can free ourselves from the mud in which we are stuck.

What is the mud? It is us. It is our apathy and indifference.

If we were to simply insist on change and take responsibility for it, things would begin to change. There are a number of examples of successful schools that can serve as models.

We can look to them for leadership and help, or we can face the consequences.

Barack Obama on Race

Quote of the day:
“Voters of all stripes have warmed to talk of a ‘new kind of politics,’ regardless of which candidate is promising it. But can such a thing ever exist without a new kind of media?”
--John Mercurio at nationaljournal.com

There’s been quite a bit of discussion about Barack Obama’s speech about race.

Y’think?

But get this. The New York Times reports that more people have read the transcript of the speech on its site than any of its reporting about it. And almost two million people have watched it on YouTube.

An awful lot of people just don’t care much about the analysis and punditry. They want the real thing.

It’s just as well, because most of what has been said and written is not insightful but rather reductive. According to virtually all the reports I’ve seen and read, the whole speech comes down to two questions. Did it reverse damage done by Jeremiah Wright’s comments? And, did it change the course of racial discussion in America?

The first question is about passing politics, and is of just a little bit of interest. The second question is general and grandiose and sets expectations impossibly high.

I will put aside my usual annoyance at the stunning lack of courage and thoughtfulness among reporters and talking heads. They continue to endlessly parrot phrases they are fed. Polly wanna cracker.

It took me a moment, but I have put aside my annoyance. Really.

Obama’s speech was important to me because he brought into the open the dirty little secret that all of us have attitudes about race that we talk about only in private. These attitudes are shaped by our generation and by what we learned as we grew up.

What we learned as we grew up was affected by our social class and our environment. A comfortable upper-middle class family with college-educated parents will talk about race (and many other things) differently than a struggling lower-class family with parents who did not complete high school.

Merrie and I have a 92-year-old neighbor who in passing will sometimes make a derogatory reference about race or ethnicity. He grew up in a very different time and culture than we did.

My very sweet grandmother once used the “n” word in the rhyme “Eenie, meenie, minie, mo.” Being seven and having been taught that the word is a no-no, I was shocked. She could tell something was wrong. I still remember the look on her face as she tried to explain.

She was born in the 1890s, a very different time than the 1960s. Which was a very different time from the 2000s.

And in the 2000s, it’s getting to be time for us to come clean with each other about what our attitudes are and where they come from.

That’s what Barack Obama said. He’s right. Kudos to him.

Rampant Consumerism Can Begin as Generosity

Quote of the day:
“To do just the opposite is also a form of imitation.”
--Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

I don’t usually quote huge chunks of text, but today I’m making an exception. This December 6th column by the Wall Street Journal’s Terri Cullen is something special.

It’s an excellent portrait of misguided good intentions and generosity run amok at Christmastime. It’s called “Gifted Child: When Loved Ones Swamp Your Kid With Presents”:


“It's the time of year when calls and emails pour in from our family and close friends, all asking the same question: ‘What would Gerald like for Christmas?’

“It's not always an easy question to answer, despite our 8-year-old son's ever-growing wish list. When Gerald was much younger, I balked at making suggestions. I thought it was tasteless to compile the equivalent of a virtual bridal registry for our son's Christmas gifts. But I've since discovered that helping others choose Gerald's gifts helps me keep family and friends from going overboard with their generosity -- and overwhelming our home with toys.

“The gift suggestions I make consider a number of factors, including our relationship to the gift giver and, often, the current state of their finances. I have an extremely large extended family, most of whom gather each year to exchange gifts. (This year, we'll get together at our house -- on my wish list is a cleaning-service gift certificate.)

“In years past, when I didn't specify inexpensive gifts Gerald might like, I was dismayed to find that some family members generously bought things that probably taxed their budget. This year doing so could prove even more taxing, as a few of our friends and family members are caught in the mortgage crisis that's put the squeeze on so many homeowners. And with such a big family, simply saying ‘Gerald likes anything Nerf or Star Wars,’ inevitably leads to duplicate gifts and disappointed gift givers.

“My husband Gerry's family is very small, but somehow we wind up with the same gift-giving dilemma: Unless I specify an inexpensive game or toy, Gerald often is overwhelmed with gifts. I fear Gerry's brother and aunts and uncles feel obligated to lavish expensive gifts on the few children in the family. Then there are my own divorced parents, who insist on buying large, expensive toys and bikes, no matter how much I urge them to show restraint. In the past I've tried to suggest accessories to the more-expensive toys or games that ‘Santa’ brings, but often that means the gift-giver arrives with the accessory as well as a more-expensive present.

“Gerry and I are blessed with many close friends. With them, giving and getting gifts for our kids is an excuse to get together -- the fact that more stuff winds up in our already overcrowded homes is an unfortunate side effect. Because there are so many children to buy for, it's generally accepted that extremely inexpensive gifts are the way to go. (I reserve gift suggestions to those who have no kids -- I remember how helpful that was for me when I was childless and clueless about what a preteen boy or girl would like to have.)

“Before I make suggestions I spend time on toy retailers' Web sites, looking for little presents that would please Gerald just as much as big toys. For example, a $6.99 packet of five Matchbox cars will elicit the same yelp of pleasure as a $69.99 remote-control car. Last year Gerald had just as much fun playing with a $10.99 Star Wars Legos V-wing fighter as he did his $99.99 Legos Classic Imperial Star Destroyer. With the benefit of hindsight, Santa could have substituted the $125 robotic dinosaur he ignores for a $2.99 Spalding Hi-Bounce ball he plays with endlessly.

“One gift suggestion I won't be making this year: gift cards. I used to urge out-of-state friends and family to consider them, so they wouldn't have to wait in line at the post office to mail bulky toys. I also suggested gift cards when I simply couldn't think of anything else Gerald might want. And I hoped gift cards would help moderate the inundation of stuff by allowing us to spread the purchases out over the year. By doing so, I reasoned, Gerald would appreciate the gifts more. In theory, a sound idea. In practice, after two years Gerald has nearly $500 in gift cards still unspent -- this year I'm planning on ‘regifting’ the cards by using them to buy gifts for others.

“Add up all these people, and Gerald winds up inundated with gifts around the holidays. I used to worry that the annual onslaught was desensitizing him to the loving sentiment behind the gifts. So when he was 5, we established a rule that he couldn't open his next gift until he'd hugged the person whose gift he'd just opened. The affectionate gesture is appreciated by family and friends, and the momentary breather seems to help him better appreciate his bounty. We also put away a lot of his toy gifts, and bring them out later in the year when he's grown tired of the other toys. Gifts that he clearly wouldn't enjoy are donated to our church charity.

“Speaking of charity, I can hear column hecklers standing ready to berate me for not suggesting the most-thoughtful gift: a charitable donation in Gerald's name. Don't think I haven't tried. Gerald's cousin, Rylina, is autistic, and last year we worked hard to raise money for Autism Speaks, which is his favorite charity. Since he participated so enthusiastically, I figured many of our family and friends would feel such a donation would be meaningful for Gerald. Some did welcome the suggestion, but most said they'd feel bad if ‘all the other kids were unwrapping toys while he unwrapped a charitable-gift tax receipt.’

“Point taken. If Gerald got a ‘thank you’ note for a donation as a gift, it would be up to Gerry and me to make him understand the true value of the gift -- although that feeling could last after the exuberance of the annual toy orgy has subsided. But charitable gifts could be made so much more meaningful with a little creativity: attach a thank-you note for a donation to a local pet shelter to the collar of a small stuffed kitten, or a note about a gift to an environmental group to a mini-polar bear. With Gerald, for example, the meaning of a donation in his name could be driven home by including a photo of him hugging Rylina.

“I'll try suggesting a donation again this year, concentrating on family and friends who would otherwise be stuck mailing Gerald's holiday gifts. For the rest, I'll compile Gerald's virtual gift registry. Then I'll call friends and family and ask for gift suggestions for their kids, so I can get started with my own gift shopping.”

Rampant Consumerism

Quote of the day:
“You know of the disease called ‘sleeping sickness.’ There also exists a sleeping sickness of the soul. Its most dangerous aspect is that one is unaware of its coming. That is why you have to be careful. As soon as you notice the slightest sign of indifference, the moment you become aware of the loss of a certain seriousness, of longing, of enthusiasm and zest, take it as a warning. Your soul suffers if you live superficially.”
--Albert Schweitzer

There is much lamenting about “rampant consumerism.” It’s on the verge of becoming a new cultural mantra, right up there with “real estate prices will be higher in three years.”

We also are hearing the predictable gnashing of teeth about the commercialization of Christmas. Gnash, gnash, gnash.

Sales of books about simple living continue to grow. Let’s buy something that will instruct us how not to buy so much. Let’s have a drink to deal with our alcoholism.

As much talk and complaining as there is, we do nothing about it. In fact, consumption--conspicuous and otherwise--gets more rampant each passing year.

Question: who, exactly, is supposed to do something about “rampant consumerism” or Christmas commercialism?

These things don’t result from evil or bad intentions. Far from it. They are rather the result of very good intentions and generosity.

A specific portrait of this at work was published in the “Wall Street Journal” last week. It’s an extraordinary column, in the guise of every day. I’ll have it here tomorrow.

Why Such Heat About Immigration?

Quote of the day:
"All bad poetry springs from genuine feeling."
--Oscar Wilde

It doesn’t surprise me that most Americans are concerned about illegal immigration. What does surprise me is the near-violent fervor with which so many talk about this issue, as if our nation’s very existence is at stake.

Clearly, serious problems need attention, including systemic strain and the health and welfare of immigrants. But what drives the close-to-the-surface strong feelings about this issue?

I have a theory. Big surprise.

When we’re babies, each of us learns that we are separate from other humans and the world around us. It’s the process of individuation.

While childhood development is fairly well understood, the effects of the earliest months of life remain mostly a mystery. I suspect that, during those very early months, something--like abuse or a pathologically over-attentive parent--may hold back individuation.

Later, during adolescence, we begin to establish autonomy--a life of our own. This natural process also can be disrupted. For example, our parents may over-control our lives and make every decision for us. Abuse is a serious risk here also.

When disruption happens, our growth is stunted and a long struggle within ourselves ensues. We find ourselves sensitive to times when we think our fragile autonomy is being threatened.

The fear of invasion is a classic way in which this sensitivity manifests itself.

When we look at the way the immigration issue is frequently talked about, we can see a real fear of invasion and takeover: “They’re taking our jobs, using our healthcare system, using our education system They’re taking resources away from me.”

As I said, there are real issues here that need attention. It would be constructive if we were at least aware of our personal fears being tripped.

There is No Blame

Quote of the day:
“Sometimes you sense how faithfully your life is delivered, even though you can’t remember the address.”
--Thomas R. Smith

Quote of the day no. 2:
“Sometimes I stand in the grocery checkout line and look at all the pretty faces on all the magazines and I think, why don’t we have a magazine titled People Who Matter?
--Carol B. Wilson

More on "'24' is a Brutal Comic":
Number of people U.S. counterterrorism agent Jack Bauer personally killed last season on the TV show 24: 38
--Harper’s Index

Number of incidences of torture on prime-time network TV shows from 2002 to 2005: 624
Number on shows the previous seven years: 110
--Parents Television Council (Los Angeles)



Quote of the day no. 3:
“There is no blame; there is only love.”
--Ann Karasinski, in an excellent "This I Believe" essay on NPR’s "Morning Edition."

Every normal parent on the planet wants to protect their children. Protection is a natural, expected and vital part of parenthood. Parents want to protect their children from whatever might harm them, including questionable friends and tawdry and corrosive influences.

But (and you knew a but was coming) no matter how complete or careful the parental protection, bad things still happen to children. And when these bad things happen, parents often drive themselves crazy trying to figure out what they could have done differently.

It is very hard to accept that, ultimately, we cannot control whether our children have pain or trouble in their lives. We can influence a bit, but we cannot control.

I strongly commend Ana Karasinski’s very poignant NPR essay to you (go to NPR.com). Especially if, in spite of all your efforts, your child has pain in his or her life.

Shirley Shirley Mo Mirley

Quote of the day:
“If you want to make enemies, try to change something.”
--Woodrow Wilson

Violent quote of the day:
“Satchel, I’m gonna smack you so hard you’ll be on liquid chew toys for a year.”
--Darby Conley in today’s "Get Fuzzy." Bucky the cat is addressing Satchel the dog, for what he feels is a good reason.

Quote of the day no. 2:
“A woman once wrote me that her daughter intended to name her baby girl Diana Rhea, which I emphatically discouraged.”
--"Dear Abby," today.

A variety of letters are part of today’s "Dear Abby" conversation on the pros and cons of parents giving their children creative and unusual names. A couple of writers mention the problems created when names are not pronounced as they are written. All of the letters express concern about the problems people face when they have an unusual name.

One man, evidently in his twenties or thirties, tells of his problems in business because people can’t remember his name, or, if they do remember it, they can’t spell or pronounce it. This is not a good thing when you’re looking to get ahead, and you want people to remember you for something other than having a name that no one can spell, pronounce, or remember.

Most parents, when choosing a name, strike a reasonable balance between creativity and ease for the child. But some
parents seem to be so interested in choosing a name that has never been used before that it puts an unfortunate burden on the child. Yes, anyone can legally change his or her name, but that process is very disruptive and aggravating.

Some parents are so fixated on the new respect and status that having a child accords them that they become blind to the long-term interests of their child. The child is an extension of their identity rather than having an identity of its own.

Parents become absorbed in accentuating their individuality and their child’s special-ness, and a very unusual name is an important way to express this individuality and special-ness. It may also be that some parents rather like that the name always calls attention to itself by requiring spelling and pronouncing. They don’t think about the fact that the child will spend his whole life spelling and pronouncing his name.

I like names that have special meaning, such as those that refer to a child’s admired relative, ancestry, or cultural origin. But parents give their child a wonderful gift when they creatively balance this with ease of spelling and pronunciation.

Shopping 'R' Us

Quote of the day:
“Of course parents want their children--regardless of age--to come to them if there is a crisis. And I am told that seven out of 10 teens who find themselves pregnant do just that. However, those who don’t usually have a good reason for not doing so.”
--Dear Abby, today.

Quote of the day No. 2:
“People come in here, and they feel at home. Unless they live in one of those homes that are always clean all the time.”
--Jan Cano, who runs the Frame Gallery in downtown Chula Vista, California.

Cano was responding to the opening of Otay Ranch Town Center, a very large shopping and restaurant complex dubbed a “lifestyle center.” These centers are being developed across the country adjacent to new, outlying suburban housing. Sometimes they are designed as part of mixed-use, urban-style neighborhoods, so that people can easily walk to shopping and other conveniences.

The developers of these centers say that they are responding to desires for a downtown, community-oriented experience in the suburbs. Those, like Cano, who continue to operate businesses in downtown areas, respond with bafflement.

The lead architect of Otay Ranch Town Center, Robert Anderson, says, “These places are the social hubs of our community, whether we like it or not. People might criticize that they’re commercially driven by a bunch of national retailers, but shopping is a big part of people’s lives. So let’s make it great.”

Whatever our reservations, these “lifestyle centers” will be successful, because many people, including many of those with reservations, will patronize them. It’s similar to our attitude about Wal-Mart. We may have reservations about how they have altered the communities they have entered. But they are successful because we either need, or must have, low prices.

Time, Tears, and Tolerance: Forget It

Quote of the day:
“So much of what we call management consists in making it difficult for people to work.”
--Peter Drucker

Followup to yesterday, "Churchill, Bono, Holmes and Lincoln":
An unsigned editorial in today’s "Los Angeles Times" cites a new survey of ethical attitudes of teenagers by Michael Josephson. The results of the survey were not flattering. Example: 57 percent admitted lying to their parents, and 27 percent admitted lying on the survey. But the editorial said this:
“We can bemoan the misdeeds of teens, and indeed they’re troubling. But before we disdain adolescents too fast, we should remember that, luckily for us, Josephson doesn’t do a similar survey of adults.”

Quote of the day No. 2:
“We have become ever more impatient with the complexities and convolutions that characterize our most intractable problems, ever more intolerant of solutions that require patience, long-term thinking, and the coordination of multiple strategies. Like overweight people looking for a fat-burning pill, we want magic solutions that require no investment of time, tears or tolerance.”
--Leonard Pitts Jr. of "The Miami Herald"

From a High-School Classroom

Last Tuesday’s entry “Do Adolescents Care About Others?” noted some new brain-imaging research with teenagers and adolescents. The research showed little activity in the part of the brain associated with empathetic feelings.

Here is a response to that entry from high-school teacher Cheryl Reagan:

“If 18-22 year olds are adolescents and possibly, therefore, empathy challenged, then what hope is there for those of us who try to teach them to treat each other (and ourselves) respectfully? Is adolescents and brain maturation slowed in the 21st century?

“Maybe I'll just be more amazed at myself and what I do. Certainly this year's assignment of teaching responsibility, organization, and respect to the 90 kids predicted to be the third of the class of 2010 that don't graduate makes me daydream about herding cats as a career alternative. My kids, this hapless 30%, range from 14 to 16 years old, so are my efforts absurdly optimistic?

“I don't think so. Some of these kids need someone to say good morning and remember their names, even if that is the extent of the conversation. Others need to know that out of 180 days of school, they can pretty much count on the same face in the same room with the same expectations (even if they're grumpy sometimes) 177 of those days.

“Others need a place to be with beings just like themselves in a place that has enough structure to be safe and enough (or almost enough) freedom to learn about being themselves.

“Others may need much, much more than we can give at the time, but I have to think they might remember some day, when their medullae oblongata are just a little more ripe for the plucking, the words and manner we have used with them. I really have to think that.”