Saying "No-Yes"

Have you ever noticed that when someone says "Needless to say" they always then say to us what they consider needless to say?

Three Words Heard Only in the Media

Accepted Errors Become New Pronunciations

Please Quote Me

Quote of the day:
“Everything of importance has been said before by somebody who did not discover it.”
--Alfred North Whitehead

Whitehead’s statement resonates with me. It’s why I enjoy coming across quotable material in my daily reading, viewing and listening.

It’s fashionable to look down on quotes, as if they are some form of microscopic literature for dummies. But I think excellent insight can be found in a well-formed, pithy sentence or two.

Quotes are criticized for the very thing that makes them work: brevity--sometimes extreme brevity. I think there is great value, and maybe even virtue, in getting across a vital idea in just a few words.

There are many people in our culture who seem to think that the longer a statement is, the more intellectual and erudite it is.

I’ve got news for those people. Windiness is just windiness. The best writers happen also to be the best editors (or to have the best editors). Length does not equal greatness.

Naturally, it’s just as possible to be stupid and irrelevant in a short quote as in a half-hour speech. But at least the dumb short quote doesn’t take a half hour.

As you can tell, I’m a huge fan of pith. Except the helmet kind.

It Is What It Is

Quote of the day:
“Put your hands up.”
--Benny Benassi and the Biz

There was one cliche listed by the LA TImes on January 1st that I disagree with. I’m not sure it’s possible to disagree with a cliche. But what the heck.

“It is what it is” may be overused to the extent it can be called a cliche, but there is a very good reason it’s used so much.

Ontologically, the phrase is redundant. Saying just “it is” is all that’s necessary. “It is what it is” is just saying “it is” twice.

The LA Times said, “We defy anyone to explain how this phrase contributes anything to logic or language.” They are 100% correct. But it’s still not exactly a cliche.

It’s not a cliche because it is a necessary statement to some of us at different times in our lives. Why would a redundant, seemingly senseless statement be necessary?

It is necessary because, at times, we literally forget that something “is.” It may be deliberate, it may be unconscious, but we behave sometimes as if “it isn’t” or “it is, maybe.”

As a result, we need the redundant reminder that “it is what it is.” Or, the reverse, “it isn’t what it isn’t.”

What is not true, or at least illogical, is “it is what it isn’t.” Or “it isn’t what it is.” Both of these statements say simply “it isn’t,” which we know is not true because “it is.”

Or, if that goes over our heads, “it is what it is.”

Dreaded Cliches of 2007

Quote of the day:
"Prosperity is not without many fears and distastes; and adversity is not without comforts and hopes."
--Francis Bacon

On January 1st, frustrated editorial writers at the Los Angeles Times published a list of what they called “cringe-worthy turns of phrase that have been cluttering up the language in recent years.”

I was shocked, shocked to discover gambling going on in this establishment.

Sorry. I’ll try again.

I was astonished that my least-favorite cliche, “first and foremost,” failed to make their list.

On the other hand, I was immensely satisfied to see another low one on my list: “think outside the box.” About this, they say “In effect, this says ‘do your best to be original’ in the least original way.”

I remember the immortal words of Preston Creston: “Those who say ‘think outside the box’ often don’t know where the box is.”

There were some other noteworthy entries by the LA Times:

“‘Too much information.’ Overused the second time it was uttered. And no, ‘TMI’ is not acceptable either.

“‘Blue-ribbon panel.’ Has there ever been a red-ribbon panel?

“‘It’s all good.’ Is it? Really?

“‘My bad.’ Yes.

“‘No worries.’ This concept started with Alfred E. Neuman, and should have ended there.

“‘Support the troops.’ As a reminder to back brave men and women, OK. As a call to political conformity, enough.

“‘WWJD (What Would Jesus Do?).’ Our guess is that, among other things, he’d be amused by people who presume to know what he’d do.

“‘Unprecedented.’ This word appeared in 600 articles in The Times last year alone. But it doesn’t mean what we’ve used it to mean: ‘unusual’ or ‘for the first time.’ It means that there is no precedent, which there almost always is.

“‘Existential threat.’ We think this means ‘really serious threat,’ but we’re not sure. We suspect that many people who use it aren’t sure either.

“‘Metrics.’” Can we begin to deliver shocks to managers when they say this word?

“‘At the end of the day.’ No great improvement over ‘when push comes to shove,’ unless it really is the end of the day.”

Thanks to Merrie for sharing this list with me. Isn’t she terrific?

Summary of Annoying Phrases

Quote of the day:
“’Hate the sin and not the sinner’ is a precept which, though easy enough to understand, is rarely practiced, and that is why the poison of hatred spreads in the world.”
--Mohandas Gandhi

Today we have a recap of bogglingly overused, misused and unbelievably annoying words and phrases.

I continue to hear these on a daily basis. Please spread the word, and do you part to improve life as we know it. Thanks.

“First and foremost.” (I suppose many people consider themselves orators, or perhaps poets. Please stop it.)

“Step foot.” (Hey gang, the correct phrase is “set foot.” It’s not possible to step your foot.)

“Going forward.” (As is “Going forward, we expect 2008 sales to increase by 20%.” I guess some people think that we might assume this meant going backward, unless they say “going forward.”)

“Space.” (As in “sleeping space,” “cooking space,” or “consumer software space.”)

“Absolutely.” (As a permanent substitute for “yes,” which evidently to some people doesn’t seem affirmative enough anymore.)

“Plummeting” and “plunging.” (As permanent substitutes for “going down.”)

“Soaring,” “spiking,” “skyrocketing.” (As permanent substitutes for “going up.”)

Going Forward Indeed

Quote of the day:
“The deification of Jesus as well as Buddha is not surprising, but strikingly shows the enormous valuation that humanity puts upon these heroes, and so upon the development of personality.”
--Carl Jung

Pet peeve. Exactly when did the use of the ridiculous phrase “going forward” begin to indicate superior management acumen? I have been patiently waiting for this disease to go away, but it has become an epidemic.

It has become insufficient to make a mere declaration that “we expect sales to grow in the fourth quarter.” No, no no! Or, as the French would say, “non, non, non!”

If you are truly informed, current and authoritative, you MUST say “Going forward, we expect sales to grow in the fourth quarter.”

Is that inane or what? If this expression is not regularly employed, will we begin assuming “we expect sales to grow” actually might mean going backward?

I don’t get it.

Coming soon: the metrics of the business of metrics. Going forward.

Colons Everywhere

Quote of the day:
“No man ever became extremely wicked all at once.”
--Juvenal

Another pet peeve today. Get ready.

This one I’ve mentioned before, but it’s bugging me again. Why is it that EVERY single nonfiction book being published has a colon in its title? Check it out. See if you can find a new nonfiction book without a colonified title.

Colons Shouldn’t be Necessary: One Would Think.

Abridged Creativity: Writers and Publishers Have Limits.

Forget What Your Mom Said: If Everyone Does It, Do It!

Endless Possibilities: Obnoxious Punctuation in Book Titles.

Never Semi: The Colorful History of the Full Colon

Colon Epidemic: Why You Shouldn’t Read This Book.

Rhyming With Colon: The Life of Colin Powell.

Cleaner Than Yours: The Story of My Colon.

The Oscopy Dilemma: Colon or Sigmoid?

The Kingpin of Fracas Hits a Logjam

Quote of the day:
“Washington is largely indifferent to truth. Truth has been reduced to a conflict of press releases and a contest of handlers. Truth is judged not by evidence, but by theatrical performances. Truth is fear, fear of opinion polls, fear of special interests, fear of judging others for fear of being judged, fear of losing power and prestige. Truth has become the acceptance of untruths.”
--Leslie Gelb, “New York Times," October 27, 1991.

Continuing in the realm of mangling, yesterday John pointed out the ever-present new-cue-ler. I’m a bit of a pronunciation snob, and I blame it on my days as a classical-music announcer.

If you’re feeling lonely and want someone to call you, the very best thing you can do is mispronounce Mozart or Wagner on the air. You will hear from the language police. Four or five dozen of them.

Of course, I should talk about the language police. Here I am complaining about nuclear and realtor. And I’m not done.

The other day I mentioned a San Diego condo complex that was called “La Boheme.” Once I was auditioning an announcer for a classical-music program and he pronounced it “La Bo-hee-mee.” It was very hard not to grin.

On a related topic, when was the last time you used any of the following words in everyday conversation: “fracas,” “woes,” “logjam” or “kingpin”?

My guess is somewhere between never and 1981. And if you used “kingpin” in 1981, you were probably bowling at the time.

Even though we never use these words, I challenge you to get through a newspaper or newscast without hearing or reading at least one of them. They are examples of overused, cliched journalistic jargon.

I’ve touched on this before, and have also ranted at length about the three S’s and two P’s. In news coverage almost every up trend is called “soaring,” “skyrocketing,” or “spiking.” And downtrends are called “plummeting” or “plunging.”

If your child goes from a B to an A in a class, do you say his grade is “skyrocketing”? Or, if it goes from A to B, is it “plummeting”? Yet economic trends of similar magnitude are routinely labeled with these words.

If excess “quotation marks” bug you, there’s a fun blog at quotation-marks.blogspot.com.

Language Mangling

Quote of the day:
"I'll try to terrify you first, and if that doesn't work, I'll try to horrify you, and if I can't make it there, I'll try to gross you out. I'm not proud."
--Stephen King

It’s been awhile since I’ve vented about some peeves du pet. Today is a good time.

Why is it that most realtors on the real-estate TV shows can’t pronounce “realtor”? Get a clue, guys. It’s two syllables, not three. Real-tor. Not real-i-tor.

Real-i-ly.

And furthermore, what’s all this I hear about “stepping foot”? I’ve heard this over and over again. Just the other day there was this: “Before you step foot into your flip, you must have a budget.”

Step on your own damn feet. As for me, I’m going to set foot in our TV room and turn the sound down when I hear you come on. And I will continue to set foot in the interesting places of my life. Just like normal people.

And don’t get me started on reticence and reluctance.