No More Questions, Then No More Answers

Quote of the day:
“ We want people to ‘be themselves.’ But then they do something we don’t like and we wish they were someone else.”
--From “Daily Observations, The Courage To Be in 2007.”

William Lobdell used to be a religion reporter for the Los Angeles Times. On Saturday, July 21, 2007, he wrote about his spiritual journey on the front page of that paper.

His is a common case of someone finding certainty and “righteousness” in the rules and authority of religion and then being thrown into chaos when that “righteousness” is seriously questioned.

18 years ago a friend took him to a mega-church in Newport Beach, where he came to view the bible as “Life’s Instruction Manual.” He joined the church at the end of an emotional men’s retreat.

He started praying every day and says he had a strong marriage, great kids and a good job.

After about 10 years, he found that his wife’s Roman Catholicism appealed to him. He liked what he calls “its low-key evangelism and deep ritual, long history and loving embrace of liberals and conservatives, immigrants and the established, the rich and poor.”

So he signed up for the year-long conversion classes to join the Catholic Church.

Then Lobdell was assigned to report on the growing number of criminal sexual-abuse cases involving clergy in the Catholic church. As he investigated and realized the extent of the abuse, he began to be disenchanted. He decided not to join the Catholic church.

Then he reported on people who had left the Mormon church and had been shunned by former friends. He stopped going to church.

He then started reporting on corruption in the church. He began to investigate TBN, the Trinity Broadcasting Network, and found ministers living lavishly off donations from people with prayer requests.

And he investigated TV healing ministries and saw suffering, desperate people put their faith in a minister to whom they had given money.

He stopped praying and asked for a new beat at the Times.

William Lobdell thought he found “the answer” 18 years ago. It was clear and certain to him. It was built on the rules and authority of the church.

Then disappointment came, as it always does. His certain answer no longer worked. He saw no choice but to throw out everything and close down.

This is what happens when someone searches “out there” for a certain and definite answer. Then when he thinks he’s found it, he stops searching.

He stops searching, because, after all, he has already found what he needs to find, thank you very much, why should he continue searching?

But finding is in the act of searching. This means that when he stops searching he also stops finding. And the only choice left is disillusionment.